1. Walking in heels
Men out there may not know this, but, women can generally walk better in heels when drunk. Heels make your legs look amazing, so, ever wondered why we don’t wear the sky scrappers during the day? It is because they cause a lot of pain. But, when vodka hits our lips, we can strut down Harcourt street like we’re at London Fashion Week.
2. Singing karaoke
You’re probably thinking you would definitely do this sober but you really wouldn’t. Not properly. The courage and momentum drink supplies us with can make a terrible singer stand up and sing a Whitney Houston track like the woman herself. In our drunk memory, of course.
3. Slutty Dancing
It is hard to watch and if you could look back on it you would die.
4. Wearing oversized glasses and clothing
When you find items on a night out that are definitely from the joke shop, they’re like gold dust. You take those oversized glasses and you put them on like they’re the world’s greatest treasure. Then, you refuse to take them off for the rest of the night.
5. Deep meaningful conversations
You wouldn’t get into half as many DMC’s on a night out if you removed alcohol from the situation. Talking about your emotions and feelings is not the way to fill an evening on the tiles, but it can be therapeutic and also the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Or not.
6. Doing the splits
Remember one must be classically trained in this sort of thing or it will end very badly.
7. Sleeping in odd places
Under a table, in a wardrobe, in the hot press, – weird stuff can happen when you have had the one too many.
8. Going to the toilet with someone you only sort of know
If you were sober and shopping in the Ilac centre and some random girl you’ve met twice, but know from Facebook stalking, came up to you and asked if you could share a toilet, it would be very strange and awkward. But drunk? Hell yes I will!
9. Writing bitchy Facebook mails/texts/emails
Writing an offensive message to anyone when drunk is never going to end well. Especially if they have done nothing wrong or you are as sweet as pie to them when your sober. You wouldn’t do it sober, so don’t do it now.
10. Sleazing on someone you don’t fancy whatsoever
The beer goggles are on and you get yourself into a situation with someone you never would have considered getting with. Maybe it will work out well for you or maybe it is your friend’s ex. Either way tread with caution.
11. Buying endless rounds of drinks
You’re no Hugh Hefner. You are no Bill Gates. So, why flaunt that Visa Debit card around like it is an American Express Black card. You aren’t very generous when you are sober, so, just bring out cash the next time.
12. Making over the top arrangements
“If I’m 40 and your 40 and we are both still single…let’s get married.” Did this actually just happen?
13. Making concrete plans with people you hardly speak to
So many plans and you are never ever going to keep them. Just try and avoid these situations as much as possible.
14. Carrying home a souvenir
A potential traffic cone or danger sign will suffice.
15. Telling your taxi man your life story
When sober, many of us find it difficult and awkward to talk to taxi men, but when drunk, we are their best friend for life.
via our content partner CT