So, you have finally got a date with THAT hottie, now it’s time for the stress of actually going on it! Agh!
1. It’s always good to have a glass of wine to loosen up while you’re getting ready…or is it? Yes, it is!
2. Pinterest is always a bad idea before you have to be somewhere. Before you know it you have 4 new boards: one for food because you’re super hungry and three others with dream wardrobes full of clothes you would never actually wear.
3. Your BFF calls you to find out what you’re gonna wear…and you have no idea. So, you talk her through your whole wardrobe, obvs.
4. Noticing the time, you urgently end the phonecall, with your friend demanding you introduce him to her. Hanging up in a panic you begin internally debating if you could get away with not washing your hair and drowning yourself in perfume.
5. Realising that you haven’t even brushed your hair since Tuesday you reckon you should probably hop into the shower … when the next ad break come on. It’s not often they show this episode of The Simpsons. Then you’ll actually start getting ready.
6. Ok, shower time it is! Time to weigh up the odds of you getting laid or not, after all there’s nothing more devastating then shaving your legs for nothing. It’s the weekend anyway, so you figure you might as well and hope it’s worth the effort.
7. Growing weary of shaving your legs, you start doubting the fact that this will go anywhere. Powering through, you finally finish your legs, after what seems like an eternity. “He better be fu***** worth it.”
8. As you prep yourself in the shower, you can’t help but allow those pesky questions to enter your head: What if he’s not as good looking as you thought? What if he doesn’t show up? Oh God…
9. “How did I spend that long in the shower?” No time to think, better get started on drying my hair. The next 25 minutes will be filled with trying to find your hair dryer and finding yourself trying to do that cool braided hairstyle you saw earlier on Pinterest. Bad idea.
10. After a while you realise it’s not going so well and taking waaaay too long. Nooooooo! How the hell am I going to be ready in time!?! Half your head is heavily braided. He’s going to think I look insane. Can’t handle this, must de-stress, a small glass of wine won’t do any harm.
11. Right, glass of wine in hand. Time to fix the hair situation. Running your straightener through your hair as fast as possible, you’re happy to finally look like a normal person again. Before swiftly realising you have absolutely no make up on and no idea what you’re wearing.
12. A huge pile of clothes in the middle of the floor later, you’ve settled on a nice little number which shows just the right amount of cleavage, that will definitely keep his attention.
13. You’re only running a few minutes behind as this point so you throw your foundation on. In midst of applying doing your blusher/eyeshadow/lipstick you consider that maybe you should actually let your date know that you’ll be just “five” minutes late.
14. As you apply eyeliner, you realise that perhaps that one glass of wine (which may have turned into half the bottle) may have altered your motor skills. As you wipe and restart, the internal stress grows to the point of explosive frustration, throwing that fancy make up idea out the window, back to what you know.
15. Finally finished everything. Your moment(s) of self-admiration and vanity are interrupted with your date texting back saying no problem or whatever. Grand. This gives you a few more minutes to build your confidence before packing your bag.
16. Ok, so we got your purse, make up bag, keys, hair brush, hairspray, mirror, and everything else into your bag. You’re done! It was stressful and better be worth it…