‘I’m never EVER drinking again:’ 8 thoughts we all had this morning

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Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the very first day of 2018. 

While you may be full of good intentions for the upcoming 12 months, it's more likely that right now you are full of gin, left over Supermacs and regret. 

Here's how mornings began across the country today:

8. 'Whoever decided that daylight was a good idea needs to reconsider.'

You have finally risen to consciousness from a drunken slumber and are taking record of your surroundings. 

You slowly start to feel the painful blisters on your ankles from walking home due to there being approximately zero taxis in all of Ireland, and the first twinges of dehydration stir. 

And then the headache begins to pound. 

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7. Did I actually…?'

Whether you had an epic night or a (more likely) disappointing New Year's Eve, there's sure to be something that went down that you still cant belive. 

Whether it was an unexpected midnight kiss or the walking home, own it.

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6. 'WATER.'

Self-explanatory, really. 

Time for a rehydration session. And fingers crossed it stays down and the gin hasn't scoured the stomach off you. 

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5. 'I spent HOW MUCH?'

Your purse is filled with crumpled evidence of rounds you bought for people you might not see again until this time next year. 

Your online banking app is calling you, but the brief flash back of waving your card around in the direction of a barman is enough to keep you away from that app for a good while yet.

At least until you have your strength back. 

Image result for money wolf of wall street

4. 'Carbs would be good right now.'

While you may be outraged at the cost of the booze you bought last night, there's always room on the old credit card for a quick takeaway. 

Browsing Just Eat is an absolute essential on a hangover day. 

The diet and exercise routine can wait until tomorrow (or forever tbh).

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3. 'The mother will never forgive me for desecrating the holy day of Sunday with my antics.'

You've surpassed the fear and checked you and your pal's Insta and Snapchat stories, and a flurry of 'be sound and delete that' DMs have been dispatched. 

Now you can only lie there and thank your lucky stars that your parental units don't have the hang of Snapchat.  

No one needs to see their 20-something-year-old three sheets to the wind singing Little Mix songs in a taxi.

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2. 'Is she for real?'

While you might be stuck somewhere between blanket wrapped bundle of regret and tequila-induced downward shame spiraler, the ladies of Instagram are on a mission. 

Already you've seen all the fitness influencer's posts about 'starting the year right' (who would be doing those yoga poses on a cliff top on a morning like this?)

Any bets they pre-shot those photos and they're' actually also hiding under a blanket somewhere cursing the existence of white spirits?

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1. 'I'm never drinking again. And I'm going vegan, joining the gym, participating in activism and deleting my ex's number'

It's easy to get bogged down with thoughts of fulfilling your resolutions as soon as the year kicks off, but give yourself a break. 

You have 12 months to achieve the goals you get for yourself, and this blustery Monday is just a blip on the radar. 

Wrap up in that duvet, throw on a season of Friends and laze your way through the glorious Bank Holiday. 

Image result for dua lipa new rules

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