Ariana Grande has had a whirlwind few years, and is currently in the midst of her most successful career chapter to date following massive trauma in her personal life.
The 26-year-old has opened up to Vogue magazine about her five-month relationship with SNL comic Pete Davidson and how she dealt with the grief of losing ex-boyfriend Mac Miller.
The rapper died of an overdose in September 2018, and the Thank U, Next singer later began dating Davidson. Drama ensued after the couple got engaged after just one month of dating, and later broke up.
Grande described her romance with the comedian as “insane” and “highly unrealistic”, but praised him as “an amazing distraction” in the wake of her breakup with Miller.
“It was frivolous and fun and insane and highly unrealistic,” she said, adding: “I loved him, and I didn’t know him. I’m like an infant when it comes to real life and this old soul, been-around-the-block-a-million-times artist. I still don’t trust myself with the life stuff.”
The young musician described the the loss of Miller as “pretty all-consuming”.
“By no means was what we had perfect,” she said of their two-year-long relationship, “but, like, f***. He was the best person ever, and he didn’t deserve the demons he had."
She added; "I was the glue for such a long time, and I found myself becoming… less and less sticky. The pieces just started to float away.”
Grande recently said her relationship with Miller was “toxic” after a fan harshly criticised her for “dumping him for another dude”.
“How absurd that you minimise female self-respect and self-worth by saying someone should stay in a toxic relationship because he wrote an album about them,” she replied on Twitter, claiming the song Cinderella on his last album was about her.
— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) May 23, 2018
“I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman should feel that they need to be,” Grande continued, emphasising that she had “tried to support his sobriety” for many years.
Grande told Vogue: “People don’t see any of the real stuff that happens, so they are loud about what they think happened. They didn’t see the years of work and fighting and trying, or the love and exhaustion.”
The singer said that her tweet “came from a place of complete defeat”; “You have no idea so you’re not allowed to pull that card, because you don’t f***ing know,” she continued. “That’s where that came from.”
Ariana also explained that she doesn't remember the months after Miller's death "because I was so drunk" and "sad", understandably.
"You have no idea how many times I warned him that that would happen and fought that fight, for how many years of our friendship, of our relationship."
For Ariana, Thank U, Next was also a time of "self-realisation" about being "boo'd up my entire adult life": "It was this scary moment of 'Wow, you have to face all this stuff now. No more distractions."
Feature image: Instagram/@arianagrande/@vogue