1. Your friends have a collective name for you.
YOUR friends that is. His friends still tend to just go with calling you the “old doll” or “beour”.
2. You have no problem in slathering Sudocreme ALL over your face before bedtime.
He doesn’t bat an eyelid.
3. He’ll never eat one single fried egg in the bag of Haribo Supermix.
They are yours and yours alone.
4. He never attempts sex when you’re on your period – he saw it coming four days ago.
Well that saves that awkward “oh, no, er, I’m ya know….” conversation.
5. What the hell is Tinder?
Just because we have no use for it doesn’t mean there’s no point in telling us about it!