Roz Purcell on the pressure to reach major milestones by 30
My 11-year-old self was convinced I’d be married with a home of my own by the time I was 20. A thought that is nothing but laughable nowadays. Our naivety, societal pressures and our obsession with fairytales tainted our minds and fooled us into thinking that you were a failure if you didn’t achieve certain things by the time you reached your 30th birthday. No house by 30? No ring on that engagement finger and you’re already 28? You’re still in college and you’re 26? Women have been guilted into thinking that marriage and pregnancy are the sole achievements that make your life worthy, but Roz Purcell’s latest post has served as a stark reminder that we’re all on our own individual journeys and that attaching milestones to age is something we seriously need to ignore.
She wrote, “Growing up I always attached milestones to an age. My life & happiness to numbers. As I approach 30 I realise how 1. I attached success to these events 2. How society affected my idea of age.
“The fear to not have settled down by a certain age, the shame of not owning a home or doing all these things before 30. We all need to start normalising doing things at different times- getting married in your 40s, changing careers in your 30s owning a house finally in your 50s or never! Not feeling like you always need to fit into the same pair of jeans from your early 20s.”
She shared, “Realising not all these things are going to happen in the order you previously thought or may not even happen and that’s ok they don’t define a happy life. I hadn’t really thought much about turning 30 next month- but everyones like “ how do you feel about it, eh? '' younger me may have seen it as a failure but I’ve had some hell of a ride so far without any of these things happen, maybe they will maybe they won’t but I won’t attach them to a number that’s for sure. Also do not feel ready for any of these.”
Roz’s post has helped me see that just because I don’t have a mortgage or a ring on my finger doesn’t mean my life isn’t as successful or worthy as someone who does. We’re all following our own unique paths and we will reach these milestones when, and if, we want to. I think it’s so important to remember that comparison is the thief of joy. Comparing your life to someone else’s is so dangerous because it can leave you feeling unfulfilled and empty. It blinds you from all the wonderful things you have done and achieved in your short time on Earth and pressures you into thinking you need to hurry up and do X, Y and Z because somebody you follow on Instagram has.
Follow your own path and remember what’s for you won’t pass you by.
