Emily Warren’s Not Ready to Dance perfectly sums up what it’s like to deal with heartbreak.
In a recent interview, the Grammy-award winner opened up about her experience with post-break up blues and anxiety attacks.
Originally writing for other artists like The Chainsmokers, Emily had kept a few songs to herself that she felt were “too personal to give away.”
In Not Ready to Dance, the song is written from the perspective of a girl whose relationship just ended and is exploring the possibility of moving on. But she just cannot reach happiness, no matter how close she is to attaining it.
“He is my chance”, she sings, “and I’m not ready to dance. I wanted to but I just don’t think that I can.”
Emily said that she penned this song during her own struggle:
“You make an effort to get over something and say ‘okay, im not gonna be sad anymore’ and you go 90 percent of the way. Then at the last 10 percent, you’re just like ‘I cannot do this yet’.
“I’m constantly figuring out,” the singer confessed. But eventually after repeated times of trying to move on after a hardship, Emily had an epiphany.
For her, she had to realise that “it’s a choice”.
“I’ve kept that in mind a lot with everything this album [Quiet Your Mind] is about. You can always mope around and be sad about it forever, but at a certain point it is your call to decide you’re not gonna do that anymore.
“At least, it has been for me. I used to get into the habit of whenever I was really upset or sad about something I’d want to talk to everyone about it constantly. It was endlessly perpetuating it for me versus just deciding that today, I’m not gonna bring it up and gonna put my mind elsewhere.
“It’s an attempt to make myself feel better, even if it doesn’t go the whole way, it’s the effort" that is the hardest part.
The talented singer was able to combat her melancholy with a combination of a positive mindset and daily choices.
However, as we all know, this is easier said than done. How does one find a foothold amidst the earth crumbling around them? So, I asked Emily how she overcame this and channelled her thinking to be more positive.
“I had really severe anxiety and panic attacks last year,” the New Rules writer explained.
“It felt like it was never gonna stop. And eventually it did. And knowing that I could work through something like that and knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel was a really cool lesson for me to learn.
“Because it’s okay to be sad. Someone told me recently ‘you have to feel it to heal it’, and I really believe in crying and getting it out. I know that time can get me out of anything, so it’s just about being patient with that.
“As sad as you are, you’re not gonna be sad forever.”
She is a strong believer that time heals all wounds – but not completely. Getting over something that shatters your world to pieces is a long and painful process.
Emily said a big part of her moving on was rediscovering her self-confidence and drawing on that to conquer each day at a time.
“My brother taught me when I was little that ‘confidence is attractive’ and that really got into my head,” she said. “After a couple times of being confident, trying something and seeing how well it works, you kinda just get yourself into it.
“People are what they describe themselves as. So, if you call yourself lame and say you’ll never amount to anything then you’ll become that person. But if you see yourself how you want to be, that’s who you are.
“People can only view you the way you view yourself.”
In today’s world, it is so hard for women to find this self-confidence within themselves, and Emily agreed that it was a daily struggle for her as well.
But she said that if you take this extra step to live each day proud of who you are then you can “unlock your life”. It’s like writing music, she explained.
“If you trust your instincts when you’re writing a song, if you trust your instincts when you’re quitting a job, if you trust your instincts in a relationship and not worry what other people are gonna think and just follow your gut – you’re rewarded for taking risks.
“I’ve found that time and time again with myself as an artist, as a songwriter and as a person.
Doing the thing that’s bubbling up inside of you even if it seems crazy is always rewarded.”
Being more confident will lead to trusting these instincts more often and making choices that put your own happiness first and foremost.
Emily’s new album discusses these struggles along with the difficulty of dating in the modern world. Called Quiet Your Mind, it is available on Spotify.
It is important to note, the singer said, that the last word of Not Ready to Dance is 'yet'. Eventually, you'll get there.