‘You always provoke me’ An insight into the reality of domestic abuse


In a move which Imgur user, KrissyKross, hoped would help bring closure to years of domestic abuse, she shared a series of texts she received from her partner during their marriage.

Now divorced, KrissyKross explains that she kept the screenshots of the messages to remind herself how far she had come, and ultimately decided that she was ready to share her experience online.

"My ex-husband was a kind, loving man. That is, until I lost weight (at 5'3" and over 200lbs, it was sort of necessary.) I then got a job," she wrote on the post.

"Suddenly I was cheating, I lost weight to get men, I couldn't buy clothes that fit me after the 80 pounds lost because it showed off my body."

"He hit me and sexually assaulted me. He waited outside my work for whole shifts, not telling me if he was carrying the Beretta M9 he had purchased recently," she confided.

"I wanted to go out with two (female) coworkers for my 23rd birthday. I told him weeks in advance and when the time came he punched me in the face and slammed my head into the floor, only leaving me alone because he had duty that evening. I tried to go to the police in the middle of the night, he tailgated me the whole way."

"I tried to talk to his parents and they told me it was normal in a young marriage and I should reassure him. His father is a pastor in Tennessee and holds this belief."

KrissyKross explains that her decision to leave came after her husband harmed her pets, writing: "While he was at work I packed a bag, my pets, and their food and hid at a coworker's house and called NCIS and the police."

"I spent hours getting bruises photographed, giving my statement, waiting while they put him on restriction."

Giving Imgur users an insight into the events that followed, KrissyKross wrote: "He was charged with a handful of misdemeanors and two felonies. I accepted his guilty plea bargain for 8 months in the Miramar brig on the condition that the felony charges be dropped. The judge wanted to give him 10."

Thankfully, she is doing well today and reflects on her marriage as a time of growth and courage.

"This isn't really a sob story; I'm really proud of what I've done on my own. I just wanted to share for possibly some closure since I never really got that I save these text messages to remind myself how far I've come, not to cry over."

If you have been affected by this story, you can seek support and assistance from Safe Ireland.