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naas

Ah, Naas. The party mecca of North Kildare.

Every Friday and Saturday, the young and old descend on the town's pubs and clubs, ready to let loose after a long week. 

Whether you're looking for a quiet night with the girls, or you're in the mood to hit the dance floor (and get yourself a sneaky shift), you'll find it all here. 

Sure, it's not perfect, but it's cheaper than a taxi fair to Dublin, and it's all the little quirks that keep us coming back for more. 

Here's our list of things you'll only know if Naas is your go-to place for a night out. 

1. Loading the gang into a taxi at 22:30 because you refuse to pay in to The Court

"Girls, come on will you!"

"There's no way I'm paying €15 just because you can't get your eyebrows to match."

2. Buying your drinks three at a time because getting served is such a hassle 

"Yes, they're all for me, and no, I don't want cashback."

See you in hell, bar queues. 

3. Spilling your drink all over One New Row's tiny dance floor

Could you even call it a dance floor? Probably not. 

But that's not going to stop you from from strutting your stuff. 

4. Wondering how the bathroom attendant hasn't lost her voice yet

*bang, bang*

"Come on now ladies, hurry up!"

"Alright Janet, gives us a second. This jumpsuit isn't going to zip itself up."

5. Going to Grace's for a "quiet one"

One leads to another, and before you know it you're walking up the main street about to embark on your own miniature pub crawl. 

6. Heading to The Court of a Friday night and wondering where your youth has gone

"Isn't that little Sean from down the road?"

"I wonder if his mother knows where he is?"

7. Running into everyone you've ever known on the steps of the court house at 3am

Your childhood crush, your fifth year biology teacher, that guy you wrong-numbered last week…

They're all there. 

8. Reminiscing about all those nights spent losing your friends in the labyrinth that was Time on a busy night 

A rite of passage for every 18-year-old hailing from North Kildare. 

It was messy, loud, and often overcrowded, but hey, it was ours.

9. Never failing to be surprised about the lack of drunk food the town has to offer

If anyone's looking for a business idea, this is it. 

Every weekend, hundreds of club-goers roam the streets, desperately searching for an affordable 3-in-1. 

Is that too much to ask? 

10. The never-ending struggle that is finding a taxi home

And begging to be brought to the McDonalds drive-thru when you finally do manage to flag one down. 

 

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Men across Naas are being warned to "lookout today for any women who may approach them in a sinister fashion."

Since today is the traditional day for women to pop the question, the Kildare-based Gardaí issued the very stealth warning to single men.

They make some very witty points in their Facebook post, which has been liked nearly 10,000 times. 

"Incidents like this last happened in the area almost exactly four years ago and the unfortunate male victims still haven't recovered.

"This is not a matter that the local Garda station can help you with so either run and hide, don't leave the house or else just say yes!"

Fair play lads, thanks for the warning, but we're not all crazy females. 

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