Why we will ALL remember our first bikini wax


Some of us thought it was a walk in the park and others (usually known as people who tell the truth) acknowledge that the first-time bikini wax is a horrendous affair.

It's an occasion where you leave your dignity at the door and hobble out afterwards wondering what the hell you were thinking clambering up on that table in the first place.

No matter which camp you fall into, what we do all have in common is that we do, at the very least, remember the occasion.

And here’s why…

1. It was the first time a non-medical person in a non-sexy environment asked us to remove our pants.

I knew it was coming, but I really don’t think I like it.

2. It was the first time we realised we might be a bit more attached to our lady garden than we originally thought.

Stop. Stop. I’ll keep it.

3. It was the first time we truly appreciated what our mothers went through in childbirth.

Actually, maybe this is worse.

4. It was the first time we saw our raised knees actually tremble in fear.

Huh, I didn’t know they could do that.

5. It was the first time we were made to engage in pleasant chit-chat while in excruciating pain.

I know I didn’t have to chat about my holidays with the nurse who stitched me up after I fell down the stairs and smashed through our front door on roller skates.

6. It was the first time we questioned whether someone truly, truly despised us.

Did I do something to this woman in a past life?

7.It was the first time we truly questioned societal values and didn’t have to put it in an essay.

This is barbaric and wrong and I’m only doing it because society insists on it… I think.

8. It was the first time we found staring at a buzzing fluorescent light relatively calming.

The flickering of this light will see me through.

9. It was the first time we wondered if our finger nails could be considered a weapon and would we do time if we used them?

Back off and don’t dare go any lower.

10. It was the first time we realised that we are willing to suffer so that our lady garden looks ‘just-so’.

Great, it’s exactly what I wanted. Super-cute. See you in six weeks.

And the cycle continues…