Our parents and boyfriends might think we’re cray-cray when we spend approximately 37 minutes trying to nail down the perfect flick in our winged eyeliner, but they haven’t seen nothin’ if they think that beauty regime is unusual.

Here are just five of the most bizarre beauty rituals from around the globe.

Snail face: China

When people in a snail farm in China realised that their hands were super-smooth and oh-so-soft, the clever kids put two and two together and decided that the snail secretions might just have something to do with it.

These snail secretions are now used in gels, creams and anti-aging cosmetics.

Bum facial: United States

We’re no stranger to a facial or two (OK, fine, we get one once a year when our wallets allow), but some girls don’t just stop at facials which tends to their T- zone.

Bum facials are no big deal, especially in the States. The treatment involves a therapist cleansing, exfoliating, massaging and moisturising…your arse.

Bull barnet: Great Britain

Hari’s Salon in London used to offer a particular treatment to tame client’s frizzy or unmanageable hair. The treatment didn’t involve any old hair masque either, oh no. This luxurious treatment, girls, included the use of bull’s semen.

We’ll stick to a straightener when we need to tame our frizz, we think.

Vampire facial: United States

This gory facial involves drawing blood from the face and then re-injecting it into the skin after it’s been separated into platelets.

Why not just keep it all in there to begin with?!

Bird poo facials: Japan

The clue is in the name, ladies. The treatment involves using a powder on the face which contains songbird poo, a substance which is said to be rich in amino acids.

You’re grand. We’ll just stick to our 1.99 facewipes, thanks.

Show this list to the next person who dares question your pampering process.