It’s been almost two months since Ellen Page delivered an inspirational speech where she came out as a gay woman.

However, it wasn’t always easy for the actress and as she explains to Flare magazine, it took her a while to accept herself: “You think you’re in a place where you’re all, ‘I’m thrilled to be gay, I have no issues about being gay anymore, I don’t feel ashamed about being gay,’ but you actually do.”

The actress continued to say that she felt awkward around gay people because she wasn’t proud of who she was: “I felt awkward around gay people. I felt guilty for not being myself.”

Ellen will be reprising her role as Kitty Pryde in the highly anticipated upcoming movie, X-Men: Days of Future Past.