Sex is everywhere these days, so if you’re not having it, you may feel like you’re the odd one out. If you’re freaking out about being a virgin at whatever age – whether you’re 21 or 41 – then stop right there. Here’s why:

You’re not the only one
Although it may feel like it, there are plenty of people who are holding onto their virginity. Lisa Kudrow, AKA Phoebe from Friends was 32 when she lost hers to her husband. So next time you’re lying in bed wondering if you’re the only virgin above the age of 18-years old left in the whole wide world, the answer is most definitely no.

Because it’s good to be cautious
While sex isn’t as big a deal as people make it out to be, sex with the wrong person can really suck, especially if it’s your first time. Khloé Kardashian lost her virginity at just 14-years-old, and has regretted it ever since: "I should have listened to my parents. Don't let anyone pressure you, it's not worth it and how I felt afterward.”

It’s not a competition
Maybe some of your friends brag about all the people they’ve slept with, leaving you feeling more than a little awkward. But remember, it’s not a competition, or a race. Sex is a personal thing, so you can’t go comparing your sex life to someone else’s. And at the end of the day, it’s quality that matters, not quantity. So if you want to wait a while to find the perfect person to do it with, then that makes perfect sense.

It’s not as big a deal as they make out
Don’t be fooled. That scene in The Notebook where Allie sleeps with Noah for the first time, and then afterwards she’s all: “You gotta be kidding' me. All this time, that's what I've been missin'? Let's do it again!” You can’t have the same expectations for your own first time – she’s sleeping with Ryan Gosling after all! While sex IS great, it’s not a life changing experience. You’ll still be the same person (perhaps with a new hobby…), so it’s not worth obsessing over. Relax!

If they really care, they won’t care
Maybe you’re worried that being a virgin will scare off prospective boyfriends. But if they really care about you, this shouldn’t be an issue. And if you tell a guy that you’ve never slept with anyone and he runs, count yourself lucky. You are MUCH better off without guys like that!