No baby fever? Why we shouldn’t feel under pressure to have kids

“I like protecting people, but I was never drawn to being a mother.”

A wise and honest quote from actress Cameron Diaz, when asked why she was not yet a mum. Although it shouldn’t seem strange for a woman in the spotlight to speak candidly about why she chose not to have children, that is the unfortunate reality.

Every second day it seems like another celebrity gives birth, and if the same is true in your own social circle, the pressure can seem even more overwhelming. As women we should never have to justify the fact that we don’t have baby fever – but that pressure is there every day, in the media, in our personal lives, in questions from others.

Jennifer Aniston recently spoke about the exhaustion of constantly being asked when she was going to become a mother. For some reason, Jennifer is often (totally unfairly) portrayed in the media as someone who is just DYING to pop one out, if only she could find the right man. She took the classy approach in an interview with People, saying the questions were “not really fair.”

“I don't have this sort of checklist of things that have to be done and … if they're not checked then I've failed some part of my feminism, or my being a woman, or my worth or my value as a woman," she said. 

"I've birthed a lot of things, and I feel like I've mothered many things. And I don't think it's fair to put that pressure on people.”

Having children is often considered as the logical “next step” for a couple who are married or in a serious relationship. You’ve got your happy ever after – now to make some babies. But for some women, the next step is nothing to do with starting a family. Not because of medical issues, not because of finance, just because it’s not what they want.

“You have to really want to have kids, and neither of us did,” said actress Portia de Rossi in an interview last year. “So it’s just going to be me and Ellen and no babies — but we’re the best of friends and married life is blissful, it really is. I’ve never been happier than I am right now.”

Maybe you don’t want children for years and years. Maybe you never really want them. Or, maybe you can’t wait to become a mum. Whatever you feel, know that it’s your choice and you shouldn’t have to justify it to anyone but yourself.