NSFW Marie Kondo: 10 small ways to SPICE UP your bedroom décor

Making your bedroom more suitable for Valentine's Day lurve-making can actually be shockingly easy. Think of it like NSFW Marie Kondo; use a bit of feng shui and suddenly your room is gasping for sauciness.

We've done our research, and it's time to share our top tips for sex-ifying your boudoir, and bringing those romantic, sultry vibes.

Even if your room is a war-zone of dirty clothes and old plates (mugs, always mugs), these little changes can really transform your personal space into something far sexier. You're welcome, gals.

valentines day flirt GIF by NewQuest

1. Move all those family photos or childhood trinkets AWAY from sight.

For obvious reasons. 

2. Colours

According to Cosmopolitan's Dawn Michael, PhD and clinical sexologist, warm tones are sexier. As a former interior designer, Michael wrote The Ultimate Intimacy Guide for Passionate People, so the gal knows her sh*t.

Try adding in pops of colour to your bedding, and enlist in some autumnal or dark coloured throw pillows. Michael recommends warm hues like tan, browns and gold, but NOT red. Interesting…

"I wouldn't recommend red, because red stimulates hunger, and is usually used in a dining room," she says. This is news to us. A warm-toned blanket at the end of the bed brings a sense of cosiness and intimacy.

3. Invest in new sheets

"The one thing I would invest in, and I tell people to invest in, is really good sheets," says Michael. "It makes all the difference."

We're talkin' breathable material, like linen or cotton, instead of heavy material or cheap, coarse fabric. It's all about those smooth vibes. 

jumping emma stone GIF

4. Put a nightstand on each side of the bed

This one is more unconventional, we admit. Sandi Kaufman, a sex and relationships therapist in New York, says that putting a nightstand on each side of the bed is a healthy way to keep a power balance in the bedroom.

They're also super handy for stowing condoms, lube and sex toys, FYI.

5. Vicky Howie suggests incorporating elements of FIRE to the room.

jonah hill GIF

Now this we have to hear. Heat things up with some sultry candles and lamps, just DON'T set the whole place on fire, for the love of GOD. We don't want to get sued.

Why not try massage candles? They're handy for sex-duty by giving off a nice light and also melting down to a body-safe wax that can be used with a partner. Sounds fun to us.

6. Red objects for femininity

Okay, this one is slightly more bizarre, but it's feng shui. Try to be open minded: placing a red object on the 'female' nightstand is thought to heighten the woman's libido.

(We didn't write the feng shui rule book…)


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7. Setting the moooood

Lighting, lighting, lighting. SO important for your sex life, we can't stress that enough.

Just like film-makers and cinematography, lighting is used to disguise things, to point out the important parts the audience may be missing, and to set the tone.

Think of your sexy boudoir like this; Harsh lighting can sometimes feel too intense, many of us prefer dimmed lighting when it comes to romance. 

Lighting is highly subjective; some of you may prefer the sunlight shining through the windows for a voyeuristic vibe, others may want total darkness. Each to their own.

Image: jades.ca

8. The bed is the star of the show

Marie Kondo that sh*t: de-cluttering your bedroom is hugely important for your head-space, and for having room to move around. 

Try to clear it of any pet supplies, technology and childhood objects so you can relax and forget about the rest of the world.

If you have a big closet, throw all of those cluttered items in there for the time being. You can get back to them once you're done having fabulous sexy-times.

A space that really feels like you is far sexier than any other room for a partner, it's all about intimacy.

Also, consider investing in an adjustable bed frame for added comfort; changing positions couldn't get any easier.

sexy homer simpson GIF

9. Feng Shui: Picasso style

Many interior designers recommend hanging erotic art in your bedroom for when you want to really get in the zone, and don't want old teenage posters on the wall killing your vibe.

A lot of people mightn't feel comfortable with this, but it's all about individuality. Hang anything on the wall that might help you get into the mood.

What about a shag rug for added style and warmth? 'Twould be rude not to…

10. Romance + Aroma

happy anniversary flowers GIF by Paul McCartney

Smells are massively sensual, and the last thing you want a partner in your boudoir to smell is last night's curry sitting on your bedside table, or damp from your en suite bathroom. 

Think ROSES. Whatever smells you both love, bring into the bedroom; no matter how random or unique.

Allegedly, Egyptian queen Cleopatra used a special blend of rose, cardamom, and cinnamon to seduce her boo Marc Anthony. She's got the right idea, ladies.

Image: mercatornet.com

At the end of the day, these tips are only for those who feel comfortable with changing their room and transforming the atmosphere. If it gives you a sense of confidence and empowerment, go for it.

Your bedroom is a special, original space which belongs to you.

Own it, and decorate it however you like; you deserve the BEST sexual experiences possible.

Feature image: Booking.com