When a relationship ends, it’s never easy for either party. When a long-term relationship ends, things can be infinitely more difficult.
No matter whose decision it was – yours, his or both of you – your life can suddenly feel turned upside down. Maybe things had been going downhill for a while or maybe not. Regardless of how it ended, this is the person you had built a life with, the person you have hundreds of memories with and the person you had possibly planned to have a future with.
Relationships tend so start brilliantly in a haze of love and excitement. When they end, it’s often the total opposite with tears, anger and despair. It’s natural to feel like you’re crumbling along with the plans you had and the future you had hoped for. All of a sudden, everything comes to an abrupt stop and you’re forced to reconsider things. At that stage it can be hard to look ahead and see a time where you’ll be okay again.
But it is possible. It won’t be easy, and it won’t be brief, but a time will come when this will all be a part of your past. The best favour you can do for yourself right now is to allow yourself all the time you need. Don’t put pressure on yourself to start feeling positive about things right away. Time can work wonders – those vivid thoughts and memories will start to fade and blur, and the pain will lessen.
A rebound might seem like the ideal solution right now – you’ll get all the comfort and closeness of sex without any of the strings attached. But the truth is, a one night stand doesn’t really help with heartbreak at all. If anything, you end up feeling more alone afterwards. What you can do for yourself at this time is to stay open to the idea of love. I’m not suggesting you start looking around for your future boyfriend – not at all, in fact, but simply that you don’t close yourself off to the possibility of love.
Let your mind wander and your imagination go a little wild if you spot a guy you fancy. Even that simple process can be enough for you to slowly come around to the idea of meeting someone new.
Don’t disillusion yourself about your relationship. If things ended and reconciliation does not seem to be an option, then it is probably for the best. Take control of your thoughts and don’t just focus on your happy memories. No doubt there are bad ones in there too – otherwise you two wouldn’t have split up. Remind yourself of why things had to end. Understand that he wasn’t perfect.
Our life will be full of ups and downs, and some will be more intense than others. Let yourself be upset and angry, but know that one day, somewhere down the line, this will just be something else you look back on as part of your past.