What not to say to someone in a long-term relationship

To some people, being in a long term relationship is the equivalent of a life sentence. Which is fine, each to their own and all that. However, this doesn’t mean it’s ok to say ANY of the following!

Do you not feel like you’re missing out?
Yeah, sometimes. When we see our single friends ‘playing the field’ and having a great time doing it, we can get a bit nostalgic for our single days. But not so much that we’d want to up and leave when we’ve got such a good thing going on. Is that not what all our single friends are hoping for when they go on all these first dates, after all?!

Sure YOU don’t have to shave your legs anymore!
Well excuse you! Just because we’ve been with the same guy for a while now doesn’t mean we just let our personal grooming go out the window. Sure, we can’t have fuzz free legs every time he calls over, but we do still make an effort ye know?

Do you not get fed up of each other?
We’re human. We get fed up of pretty much everyone from time to time, but we always come crawling back to our other halves after a bit of me time. We DO get pretty fed up of this question though!

How come you’re not living together?
Because we can’t afford it, because we don’t want to, because it’s not a legal requirement of being in a long-term relationship – take your pick! The ‘How come you moved in together so fast?’ question is equally bad for those couples who are co-habiting. The answer is usually pretty simple too – because we wanted to.

When are you planning the baby?
Not planning the baby just yet, thanks. And if we were, we certainly wouldn’t tell you about it!

Why isn’t he coming out tonight?
We always sense the desired answer is something dramatic about having had a massive row and broken up. Sadly, the real reason is usually much more mundane. Probably something to do with work, going out with his friends, or just not really being bothered.

Is the sex still the same?
First of all, mind your own bees wax! But since you asked, no it’s not still the same. How could it be? That’s not to say it’s not as good, or perhaps even better.

Do you think he’ll EVER pop the question?
We’re not fortune tellers! Maybe he will, maybe he won’t – but you shouldn’t try to make us worry about the future of our relationship. We’re happy now, just go with that!