Duvet days: The classic expectations vs. the grim reality

Let's face it, sometimes the weekend just isn't enough time to fully recharge your batteries.

We've all found ourselves justifying a 'sick day' (better known as a duvet day) because our bodies need to rest and recuperate. Stepping off the treadmill that is life won't kill us, right?

We tell ourselves we'll only spend a couple of hours under the blankets in front of the box before getting to grips with those things that we just don't get a chance to look at when we're in work all week. 

We'll catch up on laundry, we'll do our nails and we'll organise our bank statements.

Our Duvet Day will be profitable, damn it! 

Unfortunately, it doesn't really work that way.

Expectation: I will take the day off and become a better person as a result.

Reality: I will eat Honey Loops from the box and wipe my sticky hands on the couch.

Expectation: I will pamper myself and return to work revived and refreshed.

Reality: I will be lucky if I brush my teeth.

Expectation: I will NOT sleep all day and wreck my sleeping pattern.

Reality: I will sleep all day and suffer insomnia all night.

Expectation: I will glance over some work documents from the comfort of my own home thereby putting myself AHEAD of the game.

Reality: I will binge watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians and judge them from my duvet kingdom.

Expectation: I will tell no one I am taking the day off as this is a private endeavour.

Reality: I will message everyone in my contacts and use the word 'suckers' more than once.

Expectation: I will spring clean the house because I am not unwell, but simply taking some down-time.

Reality: I will spill Honey Loops down the side of the couch and refuse to pick them up because I am taking some down-time.

Expectation: I will meditate and collect my thoughts because it's damn hard getting time to do it during the week.

Reality: I will obsess and worry about insignificant things which I don't even THINK about during the week.

Expectation: I will do some online research into local evening classes.

Reality: I will spend two to three hours reading about ostriches on Wikipedia.

Expectation: I will go for a swift walk around the block as fresh air is a daily requirement.

Reality: I will cower beneath the blankets when the doorbells goes.

Expectation: I will not ruin my day by feeling guilty.

Reality: I will ruin every waking moment by feeling guilty.

Ugh, pass me the lip gloss, I'm rejoining the human race tomorrow.