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roommates

Ah the glorious freedom that is moving away from home.

Whether you’re heading off to college or just finally managed to figure out how to fund both rent and your wardrobe essentials, there’s nothing quite like that first big move.

If you are in fact heading off to embrace the college experience and find yourself wondering what will happen on the big move-in day, here’s a little break down. Fair warning: sometimes Hollywood lies to us and it’s not all amazing parties and tanning on the roof, this is real life and someone will have to hoover eventually…

You might have to share a room, that will get awkward some day

You will become an expert nap taker

Budgeting will get really real, really fast

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There will be a lot of house parties, choose wisely

You will try to 'spring clean' at some point

There will be people who just cannot share

'Free food' become the two most exciting words in your mind

Study week is a whole new world of adventures

Having a clean floor becomes the ultimate luxury

Someone is going to try and enforce 'house rules', good luck with that

 

 

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Ah, roommates. Can't live with them, can't afford not to. Here are the most common arguments you'll have with your roommates. 

1. June 27th was two months ago, throw out your milk…

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2. Who left the heating on?

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3. Who turned the heating off?

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4. Who took my food from the fridge? 

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5. Is anyone going to clean those pots, they’ve been there for a week! 

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6. Who got sick in the kitchen sink?

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7. How many people were here last night?!

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8. Hurry up in the bathroom

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9. Who are all of these strangers sleeping on the floor?

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10. I’m not taking the bins out again, I did it last week…

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11. Why are you having a party, it’s Tuesday and I’m trying to sleep!

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12. How did my Friends DVD end up getting scratched?

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13. Your turn to deal with the creepy landlord this time!

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14. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend going to leave anytime soon?

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15. Who used all the hot water?

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16. Ehmm, can you stop having such loud sex…

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When you live alone, every day is a filthy gift and the only person there to unwrap it is you. You can lounge in your tracksuit bottoms and sit around eating popcorn off of your stomach all day and no one can tell you it’s ‘gross’ or ‘sad’. But with great power, comes great responsibility and sometimes living alone can turn you into an anti-social minger with no regard for anyone but yourself. In some ways it’s the perfect life.

1. At first you might have a hard time adjusting to your newfound freedom.

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 2. But then you realise that this means you can literally do whatever the hell you want. Always.

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 3. No More Clothes…

4. You can eat all the food!

 5. And drink all the booze…

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 6. You dance like no one is watching. Because no one is.

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 7. Hygiene is no longer of concern to you.

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 8. You can listen to whatever the hell you want all day and no one can say a thing.

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 9. You find that you really don’t have the patience to deal with other people anymore.

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10. And you become irrationally protective about your abode  

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 11. Soon you find yourself doing barely nothing

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 12. And start drinking out of bowls like an animal.

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 13. Eventually you find yourself craving human interaction

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 14. But socialising doesn’t come as easily as it used to.

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15. One day you’ll wake up surrounded by crap and decide it’s finally time to get a roommate or move in with your significant other.

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In college, many of us students live away from home. You either live with random people you’ve never met before or people you have known your whole life. As you live alone and seek independence, qualities of your personality emerge that you never knew existed. Habits you never knew you had, or things that annoy the crap out of you that never annoyed you before, are coming to the surface. This combination is leading to a hostile living environment and one of you is about to crack. If you are walking on troubled territory and you feel like there is a toxic vibe, not to worry, I can help you here. Whether you want to kick them out or you are being thrown out, here are the reasons Why You’re A Sh*t Roommate.

1. They Don’t Clean Up
They never do it and when it is done they never acknowledge it. It is like the birds from heaven came down and picked up their dirty clothes. They never acknowledge that their roommate did it. 

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2. Then They Do Decide To Clean It’s At 2am When You’re Trying To Sleep
You don’t know why but some evening for a slight 3 hours your roommate decides it is their time to clean. And what time is best to clean? Ah, yes, at two in the morning. This aggravates you even more but you can’t say anything because they are doing what you asked them to do.

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3. They Are So Loud When They Come Home After A Night Out
They barge in and knock over anything in their sight. They are like a drunk gorilla and any food they find they will devour. They will also talk on their phone, and to themselves, as loudly as humanly possible.

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4. Their Other Half Has Slowly Moved In Without You Even Noticing
Their boyfriend or girlfriend is over quite a bit, but you’re usually in college or at work when they call over. Then before you know it, you’re finding stacks of their clothes around the house and then it finally hits you – they have basically moved in. NOOOOOOOO.

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5. They Borrow Your Clothes Without Asking
You realize that you are missing a few items. You approach your roommates bedroom with extra caution. The coast is clear. Then you begin to see many of your possessions decorating their floor. Why didn’t they just ask?

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6. They Always Eat Your Leftovers
No matter how many times you have stressed that you keep your leftovers for lunch the next day, they still take them. They don’t see what’s wrong with this even though every time it happens you are fuming.

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7. They Constantly Complain About Money
Money this, money that. We know you have some, so cut the bullsh*t because no one wants to hear your excuses. Just say why you actually don’t want to do something instead of saying you have no money.

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8. They Find The Time To Buy New Clothes & Go On Nights Out But Can’t Afford The Rent
Rent is always a struggle for them even though they go out twice at the weekends and always have new things. It is mind boggling and infuriating. Cough up the rent now you animal.

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9. They Won’t Even Buy Necessities For The House
They never buy toilet paper, soap or fairy liquid, but will be first to complain when it’s not there. And if they do, they will want to split it 10 ways even though you have never asked them to pay for something so small.

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10. They Never Take Out The Bins
You ask and ask and ask but they never do. Only when you shout a little louder and stand beside them will they take out the bins. Is it so much to ask for them to do it on their own accord?

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11. If You Do The Slightest Thing Wrong They Will Be Very Quick To Judge
If you do the tiniest thing wrong your roommate will immediately be on your case. You can’t fight back with all the stuff you have put up with because you should of said it at the time.

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12. They Get With Your Ex And Your Male Friends and Your Current Boyfriend
Even if you went out 6 months ago or 4 years ago and even if you never dated, this is going to be very awkward. Even if you don’t like your ex at all anymore, you shouldn’t have to deal with the awkwardness of them being around your house. And you don’t want to see your guy friends in compromising situations or deal with the fallout of a disastrous hook-up. 

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