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breakups

You've either dumped someone or been dumped – either way, you're probably knee deep in chocolate cake.

When you're finished wearing the same Dorito stained pjs for three days and all your friends are sick of hearing about him; it's time to turn your attention to who takes what.

Particularly if you were living together, this will be a MAJOR emotional stress; from ownership of the dog to the Netflix account, they need to be claimed.

The fantastic people at Porch surveyed over 1,000 people who are either living with their partners currently, or who have lived with them at one point, about how they would approach dividing their possessions. 

For the gals, the top item they wanted to keep the most was all about the bling: one in three said once the engagement ring was on the finger, it was theirs forever.

Whereas, the lads wanted the sole owner of the computer and TV above everything else…that included the dog and the apartment. (Enjoy your electronics without a place to put them…)

 

To split or to share can be a royal pain in the face, even if you're not bitter about the break-up.

Unsurprisingly, over 66 percent of the people surveyed said they'd divide their shared bank account.

Where as, when it came to sharing – favourite restaurants was top dog. However, you may want to text ahead to see if you're ex is rocking up there with their new beau before awkwardly bumping into them at your fav spot.

When it comes to streaming services such as Netflix and Spotify: the majority of people were happy to share them after the split.

However, 32.6 percent of men and 30 percent of women want full ownership over the accounts – no binge watching for you.

When it came to keeping the gaff, almost half kept it a straightforward: The person who owned a particular item before the relationship (or purchased it during) got to keep it in the end. 

Of course, that train of thought might not hold up for every item you’re trying to decide on.

More than one in three said they would discuss who gets what, and almost 17 percent used some other method (including a potential mediator).

To move out, or not to move out that is the burning question.

However, over two-thirds of people said they'd let their partner keep the digs in case of an apartment, whereas 34 percent planned to keep the house after separating.

Interestingly, in most cases, people believed the man should hit the road and leave the house to their female counterpart. 

In fact, almost half of men said they would move out rather than ask their ex to do it.

Horrifyingly, seven percent of men and almost six percent of women said they would live together as roommates instead. (BIG.FAT.NOPE.)

 

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Wanna give out about what your ex took?

Then this app is for you: HATER is brand new and is quickly becoming a hot favourite.

You get the meet other fabulously like-minded people who hate the same things you do: slow walkers I see you and loud eaters, yes I am glaring at you. 

Excuse me whilst I go and make a list of everything I hate, b*itching is good for the soul. 

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Break ups are hard. There's anger, tears, confusion, not to mention endless tubs of Ben & Jerry's. Pretty soon you'll find a coping mechanism out of the mess, it could be getting bangs or getting outy and meeting new people, or even just attaching their face to a punching bag. 

But 27-year-old Chloe Forsberg of Southampton, England definitely wins the award for best break-up clap-back. After ending a serious four year relationship,Chloe's sister Emily, took revenge into her own hands, editing pictures of a recent family wedding. 

Not only did she photoshop the ex out- but she photoshopped her cat in his place. 

Well played, my lady, well played. 

"My cousin got married and my boyfriend — we were together four years — he was in all the official pictures," Chloe told TODAY. "When we broke up six months (after the wedding), my sister thought it’d be fun to replace him with a picture of my cat. It was a joke, really. I felt a bit bad to have the pictures ruined with photos of him. But my sister made me feel a bit better about it." 

Before you go thinking that Emily is some kind of photoshop maestro- she's not. The entire thing was done on Microsoft paint. 

The cat, hilariously named Woof, joined the family when Chloe was just 10-years-old and has been a big part of her life since.

"We kind of grew up with him," she said. 

 

He was the best cat that anyone could have! Going to miss him so much #Woof

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Tragically, he passed away last year at the ripe old age of 16. 

As for her ex- he's in on the joke. 

"No hard feelings towards my ex-boyfriend!" Chloe explained. "We spoke about it and we had a laugh. Some people thought it was a bit of a cruel thing, but he found it funny!"

Boyfriends and girlfriends may come and go, but love from a cat is for life. 

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So, whether you're a hopeless romantic or professional cynic, we can all agree that public displays of heartbreak and devastation are well, at little over the top.

Don't get us wrong, we love cheesy rom-coms and The Script's albums as much as the next person, but we can't help but feel slightly puzzled by this man's attempt to win back his ex-girlfriend.

Luke Howard, a 34-year-old musician who reckons he's some kind of real life Prince Charming, has set up a piano in a public park in Bristol, pledging to play the keys until his beloved 'Rapunzel' takes him back.

According to Metro.co.uk, the heartbroken romantic said it was his “last throw of the dice” after the four-month long relationship came to an end.

Image: Bristol Post 

Speaking to the Bristol Post, Luke explained that the pair's parting “wasn’t anything nasty or bad,” but merely a case of bad timing.

“If it was anything bad why we split up then I wouldn’t be doing this, but it’s the only thing I can think of doing.”

Couldn't just pick up the phone then, no? OK.

He continued: “It’s a kind of off-the-cuff thing, and I just want her to know how much I love her, to give us a chance rather than leave it there. I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet.”

And though the mysterious 'Rapunzel' has yet to comment on the situation, it seems Luke's plan may have already backfired after Twitter got wind of his stunt, and well, basically did what Twitter does best.

What do you think? Romantic or just plain creepy? 

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We've all been there. Saturday night, not a word from anyone all day, when all of a sudden your phone lights up.

You immediately start planning your outfit and gearing up for the night ahead – but oh wait, it's just Domino's Pizza again.

Is there anything anything more disappointing?

Well, one Cork lad has decided that enough is enough, and although he loves Domino's deeply, the constant texts have got to stop.

Seán Fogarty took to his local branch's Facebook page to let them down easy.

“Look. What had was incredible that night  but i cant see you anymore (sic). I want you to know i love and respect you but im seeing someone else now,” he wrote.

And the plot thickens.

“I know i said don't worry about them but i have to be honest now. Im seeing Apache Pizza Ballyvolane. They make me feel special. But what we had was special too and ill cherish it always. <3 its not you, its me, and my wallet.”

But, determined to be the bigger person, Domino's waited until emotions had settled before dishing out the most brilliant response.

“Dearest Seán. It has taken me a while to write back, because I just couldn't bring myself to reach out to you again, knowing you would only break my heart even further. But I can stay silent no more,” they began.

“The time we shared… it really was special. I had no idea you were seeing someone else… that you had a bit on the side. I'll admit… it hurt. A lot. Especially hearing who you were cheating on me with.

“Do they give you as many toppings as I did? Do they knead your dough as long and as lovingly as I did? Do they taste as good as I do?”

“On second thought, forget I asked. I don't want to know. It would hurt me too much to hear the answers.

“I'll admit, I was tempted to beg you to take me back. Surely once you saw how much I needed you you would rethink things. But no. I won't beg. I will respect your decision and try to move on with my life.

“Hopefully someday I will find someone who held me like you did, who enjoyed me as much as you did. Someone who loves me for who I am – a steaming hot dish, crispy on the outside yet soft on the inside, cheesy af, sometimes spicy, sometimes not, who wants nothing more than to be loved and touched and devoured intensely.

“I believe that person does exist, and they will love me more than you ever did”.

But of course, like all great break-ups, Domino's finished with a little dig:

“Best of luck with your bit on the side – and don't be calling me at 2am when you get sick of her or when she disappoints you, because I'll probably be busy with someone else. #MovingOn #PepperoniPassion#BreakUpsAreHard”

You'll bounce back Domions – we got you! 

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When you break up with a partner, the LAST thing you want to see is an onslaught of them-having-fun pictures.

Rebound night out in Coppers with their mates – and plastered all over your newsfeed? No thank you.

Well, at least now Facebook is here to help. 

The social media giant has revealed new features that will make the pain of a break-up slightly more bearable. 

When you officially make the dreaded relationship status change from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘single’, Facebook is also giving you the option of removing yourself from all posts you were tagged in with your ex.

That will definitely make sure you we don’t have a public meltdown after accidentally stumbling on your holiday snaps from Spain last summer.

You can also choose to see less of their posts on your news feed without having to actually remove them as a friend in a fit of bitterness.

“See less of a former partner’s name and profile picture without having to unfriend or block them,” Facebook wrote in a recent blog post. “Their posts won’t show up in news feed and their name won’t be suggested when people write a new message or tag friends in photos.”

The social media platform is currently testing out their new break up protection services in the US before decided whether to roll out the features to it’s 1.5billion users worldwide.

“We hope these tools will help people end relationships on Facebook with greater ease, comfort and sense of control.”

Well thanks for having our back Facebook. *sniff* 

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