You watched The Den
There simply will never be anything on TV as good as The Den. Good ol’ Dustin, Socky, Snotzer and Ray made those long, rainy Irish days go by with a laugh. Fond memories of ”GO ON YA GOOD THING” and getting a big kiss from Socky on your Birthday (as well as your name being read out – you’re famous now obviously) in between quality shows like James Bond Jr, Pokemon and Rugrats still warm our hearts to this day.
You’ve been drinking tea since before you remember
You can’t turn down a cup of tea in Irish society without getting dirty looks and being quizzed as to why you won’t have one. It’s taken as a deep personal insult if you refuse a cup of tea in someone’s house. This was bet into us from a young age: “You’ll have a cup of tae if you know what’s good for you!”.
You got the bollocking of your life to get up on time for mass
Every single Sunday morning: “Shauna, I am WARNING you! This is your last chance, if you don’t get up this INSTANT I’m getting your father! Indeed you won’t be ready on time if you get up in five minutes, don’t you have to cover your face in that ROTTEN tan! Alright, fine. FINE. JIMMYYYYY! I’m at my wits end, get up here and sort your children out!”
You’ve been cured by the magical powers of flat 7Up and warm Ribena
The only logical explanation for the healing powers behind flat 7up and Ribena is that your mother had magical powers which she infused into them to cure you. Yep, sounds legit.
You shifted or ‘met’ someone you didn’t know
Thoughts of the youth disco you used to attend probably makes your skin crawl now. Ah yes, the sweat covered walls, the runners, the washing-machine-type-shifts. Let’s face it, you went for one reason and one reason only: to get the shift. On most occasions, there were no questions asked, no name discovered, no age given, just straight in to lob the gob. Ah, Irish romance for you.
You thought you were amazing on Bebo
If you weren’t on bebo, you weren’t cool, end of. Also if yhuu dIdn”’t TawkK lyyk diZ :* while writing, then you may as well not bother. Your “Top 16″, three “luvs” of the day and “other half” were the cause of many arguments.
You learned how to speak Irish and now remember none of it
Dad: “Can you translate the news for me on TG4 there? I missed the one on RTE.”
You: “Ehhh … something about … a road. And … a car?”
Dad: “What?? What about the road and the car? Can you not translate this?! Did I not pay for grinds for you to do honours Irish for two whole years? You’re only out of school for a year for Christ’s sake Sinead!!”
You had a brief fling with Irish dancing
Your mother had dreams of you becoming the next Jean Butler so she dragged you to two hours of Irish dancing every Saturday morning until your screams of protest became too much for her and she relented. Your main reason for quitting was because Rugrats was on at the same time.
You made annual trips to the bog
You were dragged along with promises of a packet of Tayto and a glass of MiWadi at lunchtime. Going to the bog did provide you with great life lessons though, mainly not to forget to put on sunscreen (you learned that the hard way) and how to pee outside.
You feared for your life if you left the washing out in the rain
Not many can put the fear into you like your Mammy can and by God, you felt the fear those times she trusted you with the sacred washing line. You promised you’d remember to take the washing in if it rained. You swore you would. Did you? Nope of course not. So what now? “CIARA GET THE HAIR DRYER, WE HAVE TEN MINUTES UNTIL SHE’S HOME!!!”. Similar to this is leaving the immersion on too long (God love you).
You loved your Mammy
The dinners, the life lessons, the sandwiches, the cups of tea, the endless piles of washing she lets you bring home from college, the baking – the list goes on and on. She has been known to scare the bejaysus out of you from time to time, but there’s simply no better woman than the Irish mammy.
via our content partner CT