Weekends away with your other half are a chance to relax, unwind and reacquaint yourselves with each other minus the stress of work and responsibilities.
Oh, why can’t we have a weekend away EVERY weekend? Well, because they aren’t all they’re cracked up to be, that’s why.
Here are just a few reasons they don't pan out as planned.
Expectation: Your hotel bedroom will look like the suite in Pretty Woman.
Reality: Your hotel bedroom will look like the €59.00 room you paid for.
Expectation: You will have a long, lingering, romantic bath together.
Reality: You will have a bruise on your bum after slipping in the broken shower.
Expectation: You’ll order room service and have breakfast in bed.
Reality: You’ll order your boyfriend to give you the energy bar you saw in his sports bag last night. Mmm… squishy.
Expectation: You’ll languish on your kingsize bed in robes and chat about your future.
Reality: You’ll languish outside in the hall because staring at that brown swirly bedroom carpet is making you claustro.
Expectation: You’ll take a long romantic walk on the beach.
Reality: You’ll take a long, romantic walk around the Joe Dolan statue…which is nowhere near the sea…something you knew when you booked your €59 room in the midlands.
Expectation: You’ll swan through the hotel lobby like that couple everyone wants to be.
Reality: You’ll swan off furiously because he lost the damn swipe card for the room.
Expectation: He’ll meet you in the hotel bar and you’ll gorge on each other’s fabulousness all evening.
Reality: He’ll meet you wandering around the lobby looking confused because the bedroom carpet gave you a mild migraine.
Expectation: You’ll have mad, passionate sex on your king size bed, then the floor, then the bed again, then the chair…
Reality: You’ll have mediocre sex once all weekend because the damn mattress is squeakier than Joe Pasquale.
Expectation: You’ll want to do it all over again.
Reality: You’ll want to do it all over again.