Irishwoman Avril Mulcahy knows a thing or two about dating. As a "modern-day matchmaker," Avril has helped hundreds of singles to find their perfect match – from CEOs to farmers and everyone in between.
Us SHEmazing! ladies never say no to some solid dating advice, so we were delighted to hear that Avril had published her own book full of tips, tricks and secrets. Go Get Him: Everything You Need To Know To Create The Love You Want is described as a "road map for falling in love with your dating life again."
Combining her real-life experience as a matchmaker with Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques, Avril's book is a great resource for anyone looking to overhaul their dating life.
Here are five key things Avril's book taught us…
1. Relationships don't equal happiness
If you're looking for a relationship simply so you can finally answer that awkward "how's the love life?" with a positive answer, then you're off to a bad start already. As Avril says, "nobody else can make you happy – only you can." Focus on loving yourself first, before finding someone to share your life with.
2. The "I am a fecking ride" mantra
Confidence and attraction are nothing to do with how we look – they are linked to how we see ourselves. Avril advises readers to change the voice in their head "from a critic to a coach," using positive self-talk to help people see themselselves in a better light and be more willing to take risks when it comes to dating.
3. Our Junior Cert Business Studies knowledge could help our dating life
Anyone remember SWOT analysis? Usually used in a business context to define a company's strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats, Avril suggests we use a SWOT system to work out what exactly is standing in our way and how we can move forward when it comes to dating. You'd be surprised what you might learn about yourself when you get it all down on paper!
4. How to stop saying "I can fix him" and avoid destructive dating patterns
We've all been there. You know this new guy is a total player who has no interest in anything serious, but you still think that if you go on just ONE more date with him that he might see things differently. Never works out, does it? While we can't control the people we date, we can control ourselves and avoid falling back into the same patterns again and again.
5. The Flirtation Formula
Flirting. Some people find it comes naturally and others would rather poke their own eyes out than flutter their lashes at someone across a bar. As ladies, we often have the power during that initial meeting, and Avril shows us how to harness that ability and use it to our advantage. "The power of flirting is not in its mannerisms, but in the fantasy it creates in a man's mind," she says. "Veer towards being a little more risqué and you'll find you get a lot better results."