Many of us Irish ladies are “blessed” with pale skin. And when we say pale, we don’t mean the Liv Tyler/Angelina Jolie kind of pale. Oh no. We mean that pasty look that’s unique to the Emerald Isle.
From constant fear of sunburn to looking seriously ill when we have no make-up on, us pale ladies face a lot of problems. It’s a wonder we can survive every day, really.
Here are a few of the worst…
1. It’s impossible for us to get a tan
Sunbathing is all well and good but we don’t actually expect to get anything out of it. Some luckier girls might lie in the sun for a nice bronze glow, but we’ll either end up exactly the same as before (thanks SPF50) or with a very attractive dose of sunburn.
2. Flash photography is our worst enemy
Disappearing nose alert! Camera flashes make our already pale skin look even whiter, giving our face an odd bleached appearance. Ah yes, the ghost look – exactly what we were going for.
3. Pastels are a no-no
If you’re lucky to have lovely porcelain skin, you can pull off those baby blues and pinks, but if you’ve the more standard Irish skintone, pastels should be avoided at all costs. As should any shade of yellow, unless you want to look jaundiced. Sorry!
4. All black clothes + pale skin = goth
This is a heart-breaking fact to deal with, but an all-black outfit is sometimes just too extreme for our pale skin. Waaaah. If you don’t believe us, take a look at the ultimate pale girl, Wednesday Adams:
5. Finding make-up to suit our skin tone is a nightmare
Neutral, is it? Sadly not neutral enough for us. Foundation is always just one shade too dark, and we’ve to frantically hunt down the last “Ivory” concealer before it’s gone. Must we be so under-represented?!
6. We get sudden terror when it's unexpectedly warm out
“Oh NO, is that sun? It wasn’t sunny earlier. Oh god. I’m burning. I can feel my skin sizzling. GET ME INDOORS NOW.”
7. We single handedly keep Sally Hansen in business
Ah, fake tan. Our saviour on those days where “pale and interesting” just won’t cut it. Only thing is, it not only gives US a tan but our sheets, clothes and carpet too. Use with caution!
8. People always assume we’re tired or sick
No, we’re not on death’s door. We just stepped outside with no make-up on. Stop judging! No matter how bright eyed and bushy tailed we look, without that “healthy glow” people will always assume we’re suffering from severe exhaustion. Boo.