Do Men and Women Have Different Priorities in Life?

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While they say men are from Mars and women are from Venus, the reality is that the only thing that truly separates the two sexes is biology. Gender is, quite conclusively, a social construct, at least according to research conducted by Columbia University, so what is it that makes men and women so different, if anything?

Owing to cultural norms and the way that men and women are brought up, the differences in the ways that the two sexes behave, interact, think and even spend money are clearly and undeniably different in many ways. Of course, this applies to the way that men and women dress, socialize and work, but it also applies to spending habits. Research by AOL has highlighted that women spend on average over $800,000 more than men on consumer items over a lifetime, such as food, toiletries and clothing. While this is most definitely in part due to factors such as everyday essentials for women typically costing considerably more than those for men, as well as the simple fact that women tend to live longer than men and, therefore, have more time to spend those dollars, there may be more at play here.

What we spend money on is about more than just our needs; it’s about our identities, lifestyles and above all else, our priorities. So, by looking at how men and women spend differently, is it possible to ascertain, with concrete evidence, that women and men do indeed have different priorities in life? Looking past tired, disproved old tropes about men fearing marriage and women prioritising motherhood, let’s see if we can identify separate priorities and values between the sexes.

How Men and Women Spend

The most sure-fire way to determine if men and women have different priorities is by simply whipping out the receipts. Obviously, we’ve already covered how men and women may spend differently when it comes to the basics, so looking beyond that tells us a little bit more about actual priorities and even aspirations.

Research by the financial company Moneywise shows that men actually spend considerably more on food and drinks in any given week than women do. While this could at first be chalked off to biology, it’s most likely that this difference is related to priorities and what makes men and women feel better. The same study showed that, while women may spend a lot less on eating out and bar tabs, they will spend considerably more on clothes, gifts and beauty products, highlighting where the priorities lie. Similarly, spending data from Brandan Gaille Marketing shows that men spend a huge chunk of their earnings on entertainment and gambling; women will correspondingly spend more on fitness and home furniture.

So, what does this data tell us about priorities? To get a clearer picture, it’s best to compare with how men and women say they would spend more money if they had it. For example, research conducted by the online casino brand Betway asked what people would do if they won $1 million, perhaps at the blackjack table, and the answers were illuminating. It showed that more women listed buying a house as their number 1 priority, while more men than women said that they would immediately jet off on a luxury holiday.

Combined with the other evidence cited here, a pattern is emerging which suggests that the priorities of women focus more on the long-term; health, wellbeing, stability. In contrast, the priorities of men, at least when it comes to their wallets are linked largely to short-term pleasures and memorable experiences.

How Men and Women Love

If you’re reading this, it’s possible that you’re looking for love. After all, the priorities of the opposite sex might shed some light on why they may seem so elusive to you. Research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology on thousands of men and women from all corners of the globe shows that, when it comes to finding a partner, priorities clearly differ. On being asked to list the most important qualities that members of the two sexes look for when it comes to love, women almost universally list social status, income and relationships with family members as the essential factors. Prospects with low-incomes, unskilled jobs and frayed relations with their own family members were much more likely to be discounted by single women. On the other side of the spectrum, men are (perhaps unsurprisingly) much more likely to list physical attractiveness as the most important priority when looking for a long-term romantic partner.

Other academic studies show that for women, loyalty and kindness are a top priority when searching for a partner of the opposite sex, whilst, for men, the rankings show that a good sense of humour and a “fun and exciting personality” are the attributes they prioritise when selecting a partner. This, again, supports the trends that are reflected in the spending habits of men and women.

While these different studies show that, in general, men and women do indeed have different priorities, that doesn’t mean there is an insurmountable gap between the sexes. It simply suggests a different outlook on life. Perhaps there is plenty of room in the middle for members of both sexes to meet.

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