1. The Person In The Queue That Gives Away The Ending
2. The Person That Comes In Late
Just because you’re doing that shuffling half-crouch thing doesn’t mean you’re not STILL BLOCKING THE SCREEN AND ANNOYING EVERYONE.
3. The Whisperer
Yes, you’re whispering but I can still hear you. Everybody in the room can hear you.
4. The Loud Reactor
You’re going to need to tone that laugh down.
5. The Sweet Rustler
I’m about this close to doing something very, very unpleasant. Put the Maltesers down.
6. The Noisy Chewer
My patience is wearing thin.
7. The Slurper
Yes, you got it all. I’m pretty sure you got it all. Now please shut up.
8. The Texter
Just because your phone is on silent doesn’t mean I can’t see the STUPID LIGHT FROM YOUR SCREEN.
9. The Person Whose Phone Rings
10. The Person Who ACTUALLY ANSWERS When Their Phone Rings
11. The Heavy Breather
Breathe normally, you sound like a sex criminal.
12. The Armrest Hog
Half each, that’s the fair amount. Half. Each.
13. The Sniffler
Sick people shouldn’t be allowed in cinemas.
14. The Cougher
They really, REALLY shouldn’t be allowed in cinemas.
15. The ‘Handsy’ Couple
Nobody wants to see that.
16. The Questioner
If you spent less time asking questions and more time CONCENTRATING then you might understand what’s going on….
17. The Mess Maker
No, strangely enough I don’t want your popcorn stuck in the sole of my shoe.
18. The Person With Gigantic Hair
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